Typically, when you think of the basic needs of human beings, we forget that one of the main, from the first days of life, is the contact. Research on the formation of intra-uterine life in the period have shown that the emotional need to contact is a fundamental necessity since the early days of life of the fetus. The nervous and integumentary (skin and skin appendages) are formed from the same germ layer: the ectoderm. This common origin means that there exists between the two systems have a close relationship and that the fetus has a huge sensitivity to tactile stimulation. "At eight weeks of life," reports the anthropologist Ashley MontaguEnglish essayist and 1 "an embryo just three centimeters long, when stimulated with a blunt tip on the upper lip or on the wings of the nose, is able to respond by arching the neck and trunk to escape the source of stimulation. " Demonstration that the sense most closely associated with the skin, the feel, is the first to "form" in the embryo: the first bridge linking the new being and the outside world. According to the principles of embryology a vital function is even more important as early as it develops. As the organ of the skin and the sense of touch among the first to form in the embryo can understand how, even from the neurophysiological point of view, the contact function is a primary need of man.
Physiological effects of stroke
The skin has two main functions: to "protect" delimiting the boundaries of the self and the body to "feel the merger" with another, for example, when we stay and we feel embraced a whole, and the transformation of their own "limit body" to be one of the most important effects of thecaress. "Just changing our physical limit," says the psychologist and anthropologist Rolando Toro, Chile, creator of Biodanza "in something plastic, transparent and capable of radiating and projecting our identity, we can truly bind us with others and with the universe whole. The flexibility of the skin (touch-sensitive erogenous) and muscle (kinesthetic) is vital to healthy identity. " To sensitize the skin by touching it properly, therefore, means to raise awareness of our identity, our own. In addition to the existential level, the caress also induces changes in organic terms: giving and receiving caresses has the same power of certain drugs, as active cells in the process of production of endorphins and hormones: it is like a touch of "magic" that healthy.
The first experience
The first experience of contact is with the mother. The affective gestures that allow the baby to grow healthy and safe, loving and strong gestures are the oldest dell'accudimento and give and receive affection, rocking, hugging, caressing, kissing, stay close, look. The satisfaction of this requirement is critical to gain security and the conviction to be desired and valued, a necessary condition for the adult is then able to feel involved in the report and consolidated with the other.It is through contact with the mother, normally, the child learns in the first days of life there is always someone willing to take care of him and satisfy his needs. This is how the infant learns, as a fundamental attitude, the positive principle of congeners that can be trusted; attitude thatErik Erikson 2-3 calls "original trust": pillar of the healthy personality. We will give evidence in countless everyday situations, whether we rely on a public transport, is information that we ask someone we expect from our good congeners, embittered, and nothing more than a confidence disappointed. Trust is the premise of each original positive attitude towards others, the ability to identify with the community and all forms of social engagement and, more generally, the capacity for love. Love then learn on the skin. A good relationship with the mother (or mother substitutes) is woven on a plot of reciprocity: the pleasure of touch gratifies and satisfies both the baby and the mother. A good contact between father and son gives security and stability.
Love and development
One environmental condition that ensures a quality of emotional reciprocity and honesty allows us to express and develop spontaneous behavior, the natural contact, bodily pleasure and hospitality. Under these conditions the size of the communication can reach a very high degree of integration, demonstrating the ability of a warm and welcoming touch: an affective contact.What happens however, when this does not happen? Rene Spitz, known neuropsychiatry, has made a thorough research on the neurophysiological effects of contact and the caress of children, orphans, or hospitalized in deprivazione4 condition. His research has meant a revolution in children because they have shown that strokes and a sense of security, such as keeping transferred to the baby in her arms, for example, are essential for development. His studies have shown that, in children deprived of life in the early months of the most elementary forms of love, you do not establish a proper connection between the cerebral cortex and limbic system, essential bridge to experience the relationship between the outside world and the inner world, emotional and visceral.
When the child can not develop the "planned" personal relationship with the mother occurring developmental disorders in him that can go as far as the syndrome of neglect. Children who have deficiencies of maternal affection, or by those who take care of them, delay in growth and appearance bring irreversible damage motor, emotional, language and intellectual development.In his "Study on psychoanalytic child", undertaken to study the phenomenon of infantile marasmus and death for anaclitic depression, René Spitz describes the effects of prolonged institutionalization in children under one year of life. This research shows that, due to the absence of tenderness and love, 60% of children surveyed, although they were well fed and receive medical care and hygiene are essential, died before two years of age.
From life in pre-natal and post-natal
"For small children to be carried, cuddled, caressed, massaged," writes Frederick Leboyer,global innovator of Pediatrics, "are all essential nutrients, like vitamins, minerals and proteins, if not more. If all this is private and odor, heat, and the voice of the mother who knows the child, even if full of milk, you will leave starving ".5 Leboyer's statement is taken and proven byHarry Harlow 6 with a famous experiment performed on two groups of infants small monkey, given a choice between two puppets-mother showed a preference without a doubt the mother of cloth, radiating heat, the mother with mechanical artificial breasts ready to feed small at every second, but no fur. Similar results were seen by many other researchers. Among the best known studies include those of Levine7 conducted on two groups of mice, a regular cherished, the other does not; Spitz8 of which demonstrated the negative influence of lack of affection in the recovery of abandoned children, of which Margaret had Ribble9 the merit of highlighting the need for three types of sensory stimulation for healthy growth: the tactile contact, kinesthetic movement and song.
The "good contact" between parents and children
For the infant to develop harmoniously and become a child first and then an adult healthy and balanced experience of heat, contact and protection, imprinted on the skin during prenatal life, must find continuity even in the post-natal life. "Through the contact of the hands" Leboyer writes "the child picks up everything: the nervousness or tranquility, uncertainty or safety, tenderness or violence. Do you know if they want their hands. Or if you are distracted. Or, what is worse, if they refuse. In front of the careful hands, loving the child leaves, it opens. Ahead of his hands rough, harsh, isolated himself, he hides, closes ... What hands should support the child? Light coats, not authoritarian. What they do not ask anything. That "are simply there to read but full of tenderness and silence" .10 If we have not received a good contact can not communicate, we must rediscover the stroke, fill the gap, otherwise there will be room for pitying or violent behaviors that are nothing more that the answer to lack. When you have enjoyed the pleasure of massage during their childhood is much more natural to transmit the benefits to their children, but if we grew up with a few hugs and caresses, it can be very difficult to touch a baby or enjoy a massage, it becomes necessary to regain this capability through a process of education in order to regain confidence in the ability of contact to pass on to their children the best of tenderness and affection.
You can learn simple tactile games, learn to make short massaggini belly or back, especially prolonged caresses on the back and neck or "writing" with his fingers delicately sweet nothings on the skin. Often these games after the kids go to sleep with great serenity and sense of fulfillment. There are different methods of massage, practiced since the first month of life, the key is that the strokes should send a message of love. The massage is for the child a measure of health to "grow well in life" and for the parents an opportunity for dialogue and agreement with their special child. The "good contact" is popular with children up to puberty and adolescents can benefit from a massage to the neck or back after a long day of school.
The Education Contact
The redemption and reclaiming the ability to contact a path that is not just about mums and dads. Among co-workers, friends, but especially in married life, the ability to appropriate physical contact is an element of communication and harmony essential to build healthy relationships and satisfying. It is important to understand that a mechanical contact, no attention and tender care is neither useful nor effective. To be "good" the contact must take place within an emotional approach, in an ongoing process of communication and empathy.To achieve the quality of "caress" the contact connection needed: a gesture full of attention, listening to the requests made each other and feed-back with the other. It is not just to get close to physical contact, to give ourselves a pat on the back, but to "connect" with each other with respect and affection for perceiving the mere fact that it is "the bearer of life."
"The progress of neuroscience in the field of emotional processes, the most recent studies in the field of consciousness, as well as the identification of mirror neurons," says Annalisa Risoli11, a doctor and a specialist in neuroscience, as well as teacher of Biodanza ® "have confirmed the possibility of "change through experience, behaviors, or ways of thinking acquired" making it possible to "re-education" even to new behavior of the adult contact. " Those who practice the path of personal growth group, such as Biodanza ® and Education Contact ®, knows that we can regain the ability to "good contact" through proposals on specific conditions or experiences, to use a technical term, "in enriched environments "can positively influence and change neuronal development into adulthood.
The caress of a key contact harmonious
The contact of the hands, the hugs, caresses speak a language real, live, without cheating of any kind in the mutual discovery. When the palm of the hand was placed on the skin and gently caresses creates a "little cradle." When he touches wraps completely, as the water that adheres to any form, conveys a closeness total merger. "Besides being a pleasure," writes Gerard Leleu"is a real language. Beings communicate with the voice and the look, but when they feel the desire to deepen a relationship under these become too little. Only with the contact you have the proof, palpable closeness of communication: there is a feeling of being alive, of being desired '.12 Through contact and caresses un'autovalorizzazione is produced, because we feel wanted and appreciated. Caressing and being caressed is the intimate recognition of our value as living beings "unique".
Article from the paper of New Earth - November 2007 ( go to link )
Bibliography
1. Ashley Montagu, The language of the skin, Garzanti.
2. Erik Erikson, Childhood and Society, Armando Editore.
3. Irenaus Eibn-Eibesfeldt, Love and hate. For a natural history of elementary behavior, Adelphi.
4. R. Spitz, The role of environmental factors in the emotional development in infancy.
5. Frederick Leboyer, Shantala. The art of massage to Indian children grow up happy, Sonzogno.
6. Harlow, HF and Zimmerman, RR (1959) 'responses in the infant monkey Affectional "Cited.in Attili, G., "The ethological basis of social behavior in childhood: the theory" in Di Blasio, P., relational contexts and development processes. Cortina.
7. S. Levine, childhood experiences and resistance to physiological stress.
8. R. Spitz, op. cit.
9. M. Ribble, The Rights of Infants New
York, Columbia University Press.
10. F. Leboyer, for a birth without violence, Bompiani.
11. Mirror neurons were discovered in the early 90, are activated when I see / observe an object (visual stimulus) and when I feel (tactile stimuli), are the prerequisite for empathic involvement.
12. Gérard Leleu, The Treaty of caresses. Honesty, affection and passion in a gesture of love, Red editions.