For the infant to develop harmoniously and become a first child and an adult healthy and balanced experience of heat, contact and protection, imprinted on the skin during prenatal life, must be continued into the post-natal life.
"Through hand contact" Leboyer writes "The child picks up everything: the nervousness or tranquility, uncertainty or safety, tenderness or violence. Do you know if they want their hands. Or if you are distracted. Or, what is worse, if they refuse. In front of the careful hands, pats the child leaves, it opens. In front of the rough hands, hostile, isolated himself, he hides, closes ... Which hands should support the child? Light coats, not authoritarian. Who do not claim anything. "They are just there. Light but full of tenderness. And silence. "
If we have not received a good contact can not communicate, we must rediscover the stroke, fill the gap, otherwise there will be room for victim or violent behaviors that are simply responding to lack. When you have enjoyed the pleasure of massage during their childhood is much more natural to transmit the benefits to their children, but if we grew up with a few hugs and kisses, can be very difficult to touch a baby or enjoy a massage, it becomes necessary to reclaim this capability through a process of education in order to regain confidence in the contact ability to send their children to the best of tenderness and affection.
You can learn simple tactile games, learning to make short massaggini on his stomach or back, especially prolonged strokes on the back and neck, or "write" sweet nothings with your fingers gently on the skin. Often these games after the kids go to sleep with great serenity and sense of fulfillment.
There are different massage modes, the key is that the strokes should send a message of love. The massage can be practiced from the first month of life and are primarily a measure of health to "grow well in life" and for parents is to communicate by creating a special agreement with your child.
The "good contact" is appreciated by children up to puberty and young people can benefit from a massage to the neck or back after a long day of school.
Contact the Education
The redemption and the assimilation capacity of contact is not a path that only affects mothers and fathers. Among co-workers, friends, but especially in married life, the ability to appropriate physical contact is an element of communication and harmony essential to build healthy relationships and satisfying. It 'important to understand that a mechanical contact, devoid of attention and tender care has never neither appropriate nor effective.To be "good" contact must occur within an affective approach, in an ongoing process of communication and empathy.
To achieve the status of "caress" the contact connection needed: a gesture full attention, listening to the requests made each other and feed-back with the other. It is not just to get close to physical contact, to give themselves a pat on the back, but to "connect" with others feeling it with respect and affection for the mere fact that it is "the bearer of life."
Re-educated to good contacts and can
"The progress of neuroscience in the field of emotional processes, more recent studies in the field of consciousness, as well as the identification of mirror neurons," says Annalisa Risoli, doctor and specialist in neuroscience, as well as teacher of Biodanza ® "have confirmed the possibility of "change through experience, behaviors, or ways of thinking acquired" making it possible to "re-education" even a new behavior of adult contact. "
Those who practice personal growth courses in groups, such as the Education and Biodanza ® Contact ®, knows that we can regain the ability to "good contact" through proposals on specific conditions or experiences, to use a technical term, in " enriched environment, can positively influence and change neuronal development into adulthood.
Caress: key to a harmonious touch
The contact of the hands, hugging, caressing speak from real, live, without cheating of any kind in the mutual discovery. When the palm of the hand rests on the skin and gently caresses creates a "small cot." When he touches wraps completely as the water element that enters into any form communicates a proximity value: a merger.
"As well as a pleasure," writes Gérard Leleu is a real language.Beings communicate with the voice and the look, but when they feel the desire to deepen a relationship these senses are not enough. Only with the contact you have the proof, the palpable proximity of the communication: there is a feeling of being alive, of being wanted. "
Through contact and caresses un'autovalorizzazione occurs because we feel wanted and appreciated.Caress and be caressed is the intimate recognition of our value as living beings 'unique'.